The Friendship Crisis: Fight To Love and Make Friends!

The Friendship Crisis: Fight To Love and Make Friends!                               Capt. Kelly Durant

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. John 13:34

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

2. How many of you have ever been a friend to a stranger? Someone in the parking lot can’t start their car due to a low battery and you give them a jump start? Or someone in the store is short a dollar or two and you offer to pay it? Even if you never get to tell them that you do good things because you love Jesus, you do it because you want them to feel God’s love and goodness through someone and realize there are a few different good people in the world still.

It’s not like this in Miami, but in some small middle America towns you can start up a conversation with most any stranger while out shopping. It almost seems that the smaller the town the friendlier the people! This is not a general rule, but if we are ever going to open doors to get to tell someone about Jesus we should always have the “who can I be a friend to” thought in the back of our minds. Jesus was all about love, so do you ever ask yourself, who can I love today?

When I was a teenager I recall neighbors socializing from porch to porch at nights and the young would talk to old and most everyone in the community knew everyone. How sad that due to the increased sin in the world those days are gone! I think only in social clubs and churches can people ever even get a chance to talk with another! I’ve tried chatting to some young people in lines in stores around here and I have gotten that, “Are you from Mars?’ look, ha! Friendship and loving on people is not understood anymore.

3. Strangers in some places are looked upon as enemies because something is different about them and different is not always easy to like or love. But what did Jesus say? Matthew 5:43-44

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.’ People that practice this are true Christians! But it is hard to love enemies!

Jesus was addressing the crowd of people but He knew the Sanhedrin religious ones were listening in as well and this was a hint at them because they were supposed to be the Rabbis teaching God’s ways of love but instead they were rude and indifferent to strangers and outsiders. Anyone not under their authority was considered an enemy! The reality was these leaders were enemies of God with their un-loving-ness, false traditions, and practices. This lack of love for all continues today. Do you know of some churches with rude people like this? Today, as yesterday, and forever, only a relationship with Jesus will save, and no religion ever saved anyone. Love is our religion, and it is manifested in words and deeds of compassion.

It is rare to have a real enemy around, a friend who is a friendenemy, a person who on purpose tries to go behind the scenes and undermine you or the Lord’s work, but it does happen occasionally. In the meantime I don’t judge unless it becomes very clear, I have the attitude of treating all with love and respect even if they are difficult personalities. If a person is false soon God will reveal it and show where their heart is, either for Him or not, either for love or for indifference and hate. We see how others love God by how they treat their companions.

4. From country to country it is interesting to compare how the locals treat new strangers in the neighborhood. I have learned plenty by having lived through this multiple dozens of times in Latin America. The attitudes people display and copy come from what the authorities have conveyed concerning foreigners, what the parents have taught, and what the churches have taught as well. The less Christian a nation, the less friendly and hypocrite the people are, in my assessment! Some cultures can be identified as having nobility, generosity, friendliness, love and compassion on the poor, etc., yet these positive characteristics disappear when anti-Christian precepts dominate the society instead.

Liberalism, atheism, and communism (as well as certain religions) seem to bring on a deadly effect making people cold, indifferent to suffering, unloving, and solely self-serving. The missionaries I read articles about who went to Russia in the 1980s had reports of not many people being very friendly. That country is hard even today to do God’s work in as reported by Lt Col Ken Johnson who was there 3 years. Liberalism, atheism, and communism darkens hearts and these dominating precepts kill love. Each country is different but Latin American countries in general are known for their friendliness and respectfulness to new folks, visitors, and foreigners. The Catholic church despite past errors at least brought Christ to the people.

It is a fair assessment to deduct that friendliness or unfriendliness is taught and understood differently by people groups due to their past political and religious influences. We have to have patience with all as what is rudeness to one, is normal in another. But in general as Christians, we should be living out our own Christian culture above the local culture, and it must be one of love and friendship if it is be effective.

5. Paul in the New Testament was proof of a Christian being friendly reaching out to all. Romans 1: 14 I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise. When it comes to being nice to others for the purpose of bringing them the gospel, everyone of us needs to be open to being friendly with all, even to those we dislike.

If we were to translate Paul’s words into modern terms it might read like this ‘I owe the gospel to the blacks, whites, and browns (all shades), to the ones with tattoos, to the educated, and to the ignorant’. We might add we owe the gospel to the liberals, to the conservatives, to the authorities and to the protestors. In the end, people are just people and they all need God’s love and salvation! Here is something to contemplate, as people learn more about Jesus, if they have a heart change and capture what true love is, they change to be more to be like Jesus, more full of love. As Christians we must exemplify it.

Jesus was friendly with the despised Samaritan woman at the well, do you remember? Jesus was friendly with tax collectors and sinners, do you remember? The people who have excuses to not be friendly with everyone are not following Jesus but their own prideful heart. Jesus might say one day to those who never loved, never obeyed, and never obeyed very much, ‘I never knew you’.

6. I am amazed that there are some people who claim to be a Christian, who come to church often, but they do not show love without discrimination to those around them! We preach that ‘Holiness’ is love but to make it real you and I as a true Christians must be looking for ways to show love to anyone, anywhere, at any time! Have you loved an enemy lately?

You might never know how you might positively impact someone just by speaking a few kind words to them. They might even decide to become a Christian by witnessing the love you have for them and others. There is the possibility that if you don’t talk, speak or smile, those watching you might even become offended by your indifference. You should have a healthy fear of God because your influence might motivate another to love Jesus or to reject Jesus!

Did you know that even in the Old Testament God commanded his people to be respectful to foreigners and strangers?    Exodus 23:9

“Also you shall not oppress a stranger, for you know the heart of a stranger, because you were strangers in the land of Egypt. So if we like foreigners or not, God commands us to be kind to them!

7. We have had quite a few Cuban and Central American refugees pass through this church and I believe there is a history to prove most everyone has loved them inclusively. I pray this continues on being the case always in the future. I would say many are challenged now by the influx of Venezuelan refugees, but what if we get Syrian as well?

I pray our love will be the same no matter the race, country, or religion. In Atlanta we did help some Bosnian, Russian, and other diverse groups (apart from Korean and Spanish) with food and clothing. We invited them to church but few came. It takes time for others to understand how we do things here because in most countries around the world, no one, no church, no organizations, exist where needy persons can get help.

As long as we are doing our part and letting everyone know we are helping them ‘in Jesus name’ then we are doing our part. Our motive for being friendly and being a help comes from a source, and that source is from the love of Jesus Christ Himself!

8. Even though we are friendly, and most of us are friends with each other here, not everyone will get along with each other to work together in ministry. We have to accept the fact that some people do not make good co-workers with certain others. Like it or not this is a fact and even with the first apostles they had to split up to do God’s work in a better way. Paul split up from Barnabas and we learn about this in Acts 15:39

And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;

We are not going to force friendships but I know the Lord is pleased when we do have them.

One of my favorite verses is from Psalms 133:1

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! My wish would be for all to get along, but age, personality, and several factors make total unity very hard to accomplish.

What our responsibility is… is to do our part and love as much as we can and be a friend to as many as we can! Isn’t that how Jesus did it?

9. I will confess that I am naturally not so friendly, I am sort of an introvert, but I had to learn friendliness so I could obey Jesus teachings! I changed my own personality so I could be more like Jesus! I learned other languages, I adopted myself to other customs and food, I accepted other styles of music and worship, and I travelled far never returning until decade and a half later. I have done my part to love and adapt and to be a friend to others, have you? And I still keep adapting, it is a lifelong process.

To have purpose in life Jesus expects you and I to learn to be friendly, it is a part of loving God and others. Imagine, when you covert a soul to Jesus, that person becomes your friend forever! The good thing about Christian friends is they are not just your friends for convenience, they are your true friends forever! I’ve got friends in dozens of places everywhere and it is only because we have Jesus in common! Jesus is the glue that keeps us all together!

So do you want a friend that is closer than a brother? Make friends with those who love Jesus like you do! Love one another, those in the Corps and those outside the Corps. Love and do something special for your brothers and sisters, love your family in God! They are your true family! Obey Jesus’ command, ‘Love one another as He loved us!’ And love a few enemies as well, who knows, they might convert and become one of your best friends one day! Change yourself to be friendly and watch Jesus do great things!