Relational, Doer, or Thinker: Which are you?

Relational, Doer, or Thinker: Which are you?         Kelly Durant 10-21-2012

2. Not long ago there was a piece of paper on the floor in the hallway outside, did you remember seeing it? One person came to me and said, ”We need to spy and see with the cameras who does this”. Then another told me, “You, Captain, need to put up signs and tell the people to stop throwing paper trash in the halls”! Another came to me and said, “We need to get the Corps council together to see what is happening with this situation and discuss how to deal with people who drop paper on the floor”! Another person commented, “We need analyze the situation as to why papers appear, maybe we need more trash cans”?! Another continued, “You have got to preach on people being more responsible to expound on the spiritual repercussions on the soul of undesirable behaviors done in the physical world”. Then, after all the suggestions, one person just bent over, and picked the paper up, and put the paper in the trash! Ha!

All of this is a metaphor, but very close to real life! Did you get the point how each person has a different approach, a different personality type, a different way of thinking, and a different way of resolving an ordinary task?

3. Amongst your selves there are many personality types and ways of doing, talking, being, and thinking from all your different influences of the past, and your level of commitment to God. And despite our different ways, cultures, and styles, each person here is needed! There are people who use all things happening in life as a means to connect to someone, they want just to be with other people and do things together with people, and this is good. Like, “Let’s get together and feel alright”! Some love people.

Also, generalizing, there are people who like to do stuff. These people love action & serving, fixing and doing, and they just do whatever, whenever, however to make things a better standard. These people do not wait on others, they just see a need and pick up the piece of paper! They are the ‘Lead, follow, or get out of my way’ kind of people.

Then, there are also people who use their brain power to plan and organize how to do things in a better way. They come with a plan, and even though others do not always follow through, they use brain power and share great ideas. We need all of these types of people! But, no one should ever boast of their own importance. Everyone is needed!

4. To understand these dynamics for your personal Christian growth, let’s take examples from the scriptures to observe the different ways people. First the relationship kind, and then the doer kind. People often misinterpret the point here.    Luke 10:38-42

  ³⁸Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.³⁹And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.⁴⁰But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.⁴¹And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: ⁴²But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
5. Martha in this case is the doer type person, the server, the one in action, while Mary is the relational one, wanting to spend time with Jesus, to enjoy His company. Both types are needed. The only problem was Martha was in action when she should have stopped for a while to listen to what Jesus was teaching! She was doing what she always does, doing good, but at the wrong time. This one rebuke did not mean she was a bad person, wrong, or bad all the time, Jesus just wanted everyone to know that there is a time and place for everything, a time to serve, and a time to stop and listen.
Each Christian will always need to pray and be in tune with the Holy Spirit to determine if it is time to serve, or not serve, to know when it is time to talk or a time to be quiet learn, and listen, and see if a plan needs to be made. All people are needed and appreciated. Imagine no work getting done in the building, or imagine no attention being given to the spiritual teachings? Too much of either makes a person get out of balance!
The relational one was Mary. We know about the action one, Martha, but what about the thinker? Paul was a thinker. Isn’t it curious how Paul being so intelligent, was also usually doing lots of things like, travelling, preaching, and ministering to the new followers all over Asia Minor. He loved people but he was actually a deep thinker!
6. Satan can never win. The enemy hoped to stop Paul from spreading the gospel by using evil people to arrest him. But Paul being in jail a few years allowed him time to write down all of what God needed from him to share in the way of teaching. It was from the cold, lonely, dirty, smelly prisons that Paul produced some of the greatest theological writings ever produced that have served as the foundation of the Christian faith and practice ever since! Thank God he applied his intelligence recording all of what God inspired him to write.
Imagine, he had a cultural, and educational preparation that was unique so that he could get the first Christians (and us even today) on the right path doctrinally, applying Jesus words within the context of all cultures: those of the past, and those of the future.
The Romans, the Jews, the Greeks, and the pagans were all very different from one another and Paul knew how to write words to each of them exposing their faults to win them over to Jesus. His words keep inspiring and convicting today!
Paul had a gift, a mental ability that only certain people have. Not all of us know how to think and reason and explain, and know how to win over others who have wrong ideas about God and culture and others.
7. Now the question of the day! Which type of a person do you think you are? Are you a doer, thinker, or relational person?
Ask your neighbor right now about that: Am I a relational person? Am I a doer type? Am I a thinker type? Your qualities are usually your strengths, but there are times when your qualities can become your weaknesses. Remember all things must have a balance.
Let me give you an example of how a strength works. In the verses of today, Mary was doing good where she needed to be: her relational part was in order as her priority of paying attention to Jesus which was correct at that moment. She heard him and she was blessed by His every word.
8. Now if Mary gets careless in a weak moment, she could let it go to her head and think that she was the most spiritual one of them all. What if she decided to listen to spiritual things all day and not do her normal chores? People like Mary that take it too far fit the phrase about the person who “being so heavenly minded they become of no earthly good”. Jesus gave her a compliment, but every person who learns spiritual things has to battle against pride since they quite often do have more knowledge than others.
This type of relationship oriented person can love to be with people but almost too much. They seem to have their spiritual life perfect, but they too can get out of balance. I have seen people who are always spiritual and reading, praying, and socializing, but they let the responsibilities of their home, family members, husband or wife, or children go unattended.
A man, or a woman overly spiritual can cause their partner or children to become jealous of their time with God & others and they conclude that God and their church is their enemy! Most of us can get in a 30 minute to an hour devotions of Bible reading and prayer time daily, but after that, there is work to be done. There is a balance.
9. Now let’s look at the Marthas. I am sure Martha in her self-righteousness was angry that Mary was just sitting there! Martha must have thought Mary is supposed to be helping me to wash the feet of the guests, helping me prepare the food, and serve the water. I am sure Martha was angry with Mary, she knew Mary knew what needed to be done and she was working very hard alone while Mary was just sitting there listening to Jesus.
People who are in action are very needed and we need to appreciate them! Just like the one who picked up the paper from the floor without thinking, we need people who can just see a need and just do it! The only problem is people who are doers need guidance, to know what to do and when, and be able to let another do a job when appropriate since they can’t do it all. These types of people often just need to calm down and take some time-out time with our Lord. We, as their friends, need to remind them that is okay to not be busy all the time!
Some doers do go to the extreme and feel they must always escape the spiritual. It is frustrating for a pastor or Captain to work 10 hours preparing a sermon and then right before the sermon 10 people walk out because they want to help in the kitchen, or attend a phone call, or do something else in the Corps.
When the sermon is happening on Sunday, everyone should stop and listen, not suddenly run to the restroom, kitchen, or something else. If people do not listen when the spiritual food is hot, then they will not get the blessings Jesus wants to give them.
10. How could the thinker have helped? Maybe if someone would have helped these 2 women, they would have had more analysis and better preparation for the situation, and they would have gotten together and planned ahead of time how to get it all ready before Jesus got there so they both could have had time to just sit down and enjoy the visit of their Lord together!
The main lesson of Jesus was that when it is time to listen and learn from God, you really do need to stop everything and do just that! Are you stopping daily to listen?
We need thinkers and planners like Paul as much as we need Marys and Marthas, to keep us flowing with good organization. Paul in the letters recommended how to carry out the business of the church. He also took the time to write out God’s Holy word in a way to guide each of us spiritually in the direction each person should go to correct their errors. That is what Romans, Corinthians, and all the epistles are about.
I think Regina and I may have the strong point of being like the doers. We are responsible for all that happens, and we need to make things happen or people notice the disorder. Sometimes our days are already committed to getting done a report, or attending to someone, or doing a building inspection, or the planning of the next meeting or sermon. We have to force ourselves often to be thinkers, doers and we are both sort of naturally relationship oriented as well. We love to be with people! You and I need to know our nature so we don’t overdo one and not do the other!
So what are you going to do to change your habits so you can apply these qualities and make yourself stronger for God’s service? You should already know what kind of a person you are so now how will you apply yourself better?
11. Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.   We need to guide one another as brothers & sisters!
In actuality everyone must strive to have a combination of these 3 qualities! We may be stronger in one, but another one may need to be more exercised to balance yourself out. For example, despite how Regina can be like Martha at times, Regina also most of the time gets in good spiritual time in with Jesus praying and reading.  
Myself, I sometimes get in a good research study time, reading books, preparing myself for future sermons and Bible studies. I love the spiritual part of my work. But I must plan where the Corps people, and Corps building will be in the future so I have to use brain power. And by what I have learned, growth and progress for Christian bodies only comes from time spent with God and from time spent in relationships with people.
12. I pray sometimes to be more a relational person, and when someone comes to the office, it usually is my pleasure is to leave aside all the business and paperwork to attend to them. I also enjoy fixing things on the building working with Ferro or Castillo to get the jobs done. I really like being with others in Bible studies too. As Christians we really must have a love for each other and we must look forward to having each other’s company. You and I alsways need to serve Jesus better by being more balanced, agreed?
Each of us need a balance of doing, thinking, and being with others or we will have an offensive testimony of our Christian faith being out of balance doing the wrong things at the wrong times. Mary gave a right example, we need more time to be alone with our Lord, and we also need time with each other. Do you not agree? How will you apply yourself better then?
If you consider yourself out-of-balance because you do too much of one thing and don’t attend to the other things or attend to people as you should, then now would be a good time to pray and ask God to make it right in your heart. Proverbs 11:1A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is his delight.   Come and pray now.