How To Help Others: Expose Their Sin, And Your Own As Well

How To Help Others: Expose Their Sin, And Your Own As Well

by Capt. Kelly Durant  May 5,2013

1-2 Timothy 3:15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

2-Today is May 5^th! We could discuss freedom from oppressors in relation to Mexico’s Puebla victory but here with us today there are no Mexicans (here in Hialeah), so instead let’s learn about freedom from yourself and your own faults.  Have you watched any soccer lately?

The job of a Local Officer, or the Captain/pastor is sometimes similar to one like that of a referee. He has to make the call of a foul when someone in the game is in the wrong or not following the rules. People can get that so mad that a fault gets pointed out and the ball gets passed over to the other team, but that is in the rules. A player can try hard to hide from the referee that his foot hit the other player (and coaches often miss fouls!) but when others point this out to the referee, then the last play becomes invalid. No one can change the rules, not the players, the refs, or the team owners. The same as God with his rule book the Bible! (Which apart from rules also contains love letters about His Son’s atonement providing mercy to all). Notice how the people will correct the ref on a wrong call too!

3-The problem between people when there is a clash, a friction, or a problem is when one starts talking, accusing another of having a sin. This could be true, but even though there is proof someone is doing something bad, you need a little time for it to come to light what the accuser is doing.

Sometimes bad behavior or sinful actions are provoked in response to unkind words, frustration, or some negative communication.

I recall when I was in kinder garden, one kid one time pulled the chair out from under me when I was going to sit down and I hit my rear hard on the ground. I got up and hit the kid on the arm. I got the timeout but he didn’t. So I learned early in life things can sometimes not be fair because some people in control may not know all the story of what is happening.  

This is why I (and neither should you) do not move fast to judge, or condemn, someone by someone’s else’s report of them without learning more. And often times you or I never get to gather all the facts! So how do we fix problems amongst ourselves, as we should? Reprove, correct, and apply God’s Word for instruction in righteousness exhorting as in 2Tim.

4-It first begins with you; you are responsible to speak up and be candid, and most of you have no problem with that. But are you talking to the right person?

Most people don’t realize the pastor/captain cannot always resolve things because the scripture makes it clear people have to fix misunderstandings between their selves (but without punching others as I did as a kid, of course!). Telling others about other people does not always help because others do not know all the details and history like you who are involved.

Matt 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. (That’s 3 chances!)

5-So first, when there is a problem it should be handled between the ones with the problem but when there is not a peaceful outcome, then a few others must get involved. And in the end if a person is deaf to everyone’s Godly council, it is at that time that the person will be considered as one who does not respect God’s standards and not be capable of keeping the peace. That person will be on timeout like in a foul in a game. In other words, this person’s faith and behavior is missing the mark.

The problem with actions, words, and behaviors is that a majority of people will always believe that their own behavior is in the right, when actually for others, their actions are offense. We see this situation occur a lot especially between people of different cultures and languages, of people of different income or educational levels, and even of people with different Christian doctrine preparations, right?

We should use the Word of God to correct one another, it is for reproof and instruction, but how you do that could either win the person or offend them. The verses of 2 Tim 3:15-17 point out we must seek their salvation and resultingly good works will happen due to their acceptance of the correction by God’s word.

6-We live in a society where everyone wants to sin and not be responsible for the consequences. From the bottom to the top everyone wants to pass the buck. Responsibility often gets aimed at the wrong person. It is human nature to be cowardly, lazy, or in the wrong over some incident.

People so easily go to someone else wanting him or her to fix an offense and correct someone else. Responsibility, however, actually lies with the ones in the middle who should fix it.  

An example of misguiding correction was on the radio last week when I heard about a policeman that got a DUI. He is suing the City over the ticket because he claims he is protected by a law that says he has a chronic illness, alcoholism. So it is not his fault, but the disease! Really? Seems crazy, right? But actually many people have this same idea about their own sin, they think that someone else is to blame, and when you call them out on it, they accuse others of having the fault.

7-The real problem we get into is that many people have little knowledge of the Bible and little understanding about the application of the precepts and standards of God. People that know more Word get scandalized that the other ones are not doing what they should. Not choosing the right thing, or doing things that are offensive to God show either:

-Ignorance of the word of God and the expected standard of behavior

-Rebellion against the word of God, knowing the standard but refusing to obey it

-Falling into temptation and making a mistake due to one’s personal issues of bitterness, jealousy, lust, or greed which damages relations with God or another.

Here is the good news, any of these situations of ignorance, rebellion, or mistakes are forgivable and fixable with you or that person asking God to work through you repenting with love, prayer, and humility. When you mess up and make a mistake, don’t you want God and others to keep on accepting you?  2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

8-Getting yourself right with God and others is always His will and if God has patience for everyone, how much more we need to have patience to wait on the repentance of others. I often consider how patient God had to be with me before I came to repentance, so I have tried my best to be very generous with my patience with others. I rebelled from age 14 to age 21, and 7 years is a long time in rebellion to obeying God, but God was patient!

When people offend each other, they offend God as well, and this is the part most of us overlook. Not having peace with another person indicates not having peace with God.   Mark 11:25-26

25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

9-A person might have the attitude, like well, I don’t care if so & so hates me for what I said or do. But the “I don’t care” attitude in itself is not of God’s love. The serious concern is: Is God angry with you for offending or not forgiving another who walks in the faith?  

To God everyone is of value and everyone deserves love, and you had better start loving and forgiving in the same measure that you want it; God even says we are to have love for our enemies! Are you capable of that?! Not many are, but we must try our best! Forget how other people act, focus on how you are responding.

10-No matter what others do to us we are to forgive  Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. (The key is if they say, I repent)

If someone does hurt you intentionally and unrepentedly though, what is implied in the scripture is that you are not bound to forgive them. If they are not sorry and keep on harming you, it could get to the point that you are letting another destroy you.

You are not responsible for other people’s actions, but you are responsible for how you respond to them! You need to get out of a person’s life when necessary. You need God to heal your pain and He does heal it if you ask Him! But in a perfect world, everyone would say they are sorry and mean it and then they would not repeat their offense to you ever again!

11-Romans 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

Bitterness is acid that rusts its own container, and your anger will never hurt anyone but yourself. God avenges, and often in this life, and for certain in the one after this one, so let Him handle it! I have seen evil people reap what they have sewn and be punished terribly in my lifetime. You have seen that too, right?

I have noticed that most of us have a desire to want to help others when we perceive a problem or see they are caught in a sin.  This is a noble thing and we are our brother’s keeper. It is a correct to not want sin in the camp because the damage ends up costing everyone something and we cannot afford it!

12-So the way to help others is to confront with the truth in God’s Word, but doing it with love and compassion, and not with judgment and condemnation. When a crisis is provoked from someone’s sin, exposure is God’s opportunity to bring correction and healing!

Recall the exposure of the prostitute, how everybody wanted to throw stones at her and they wanted Jesus’ approval of it, and what happened?  The reality is Jesus turns the focus from outward sin to inward sin; no one is qualified to throw any stone at anyone when we include the whole picture of the condition of each one of us!

13-We still need to have a way to stop undesirable and destructive or self-destructive behaviors; faults need to be brought to the light and talked about it. Sin tries to hide, people keep secrets, but the Lord lets it all come out so it can be dealt with. If not dealt with, sin brings great devastation to many!

Proverbs 16:6 By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.

Will you, before applying the mirror of truth (as in Don Quixote), use it on yourself as well? When we hear about someone’s sin, it is time for everyone to sober up and let the light of the burning sun purge us all from all impurities. We desire to be pure and holy but it only comes by soberly submitting as the Lord is sovereign and He can take our life from us at any time. Fear Him in a healthy way and you will live in peace with God and others!

Peace comes after the storm of sin exposure, and storms happen from time to time, and that is just how life is in this fallen world. But God wants us to do the cleaning up; the cleaning up of our selves, and of others.  If you have fallen tree limbs that others could trip over in your yard, pick those up and throw them away quick; then you are ready to go to the neighbor’s to offer help to pick up his.

Help others by first helping yourself with repentance and allowing God to work in your life with His Holy Spirit. If you do then you will truly help with love and mercy and not make matters worse. Love, correction, instruction, repentance, forgiveness all are needed, then restoration and peace happens as God works!