Respect Honorable Women or Everyone Suffers!

Respect Honorable Women or Everyone Suffers!  5-18-14   by Kelly Durant

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

2.It is a sad truth that women in general are not respected by more than half the world’s people today and it is a fact they never have been! Investigate for yourself how other major world cultures, religions, and communists treat women and you will be outraged and appalled! There is a current war on women in our culture! Our music has progressed from Elvis that would sing he was “All Shook Up’ in love to our current music which refers to women as “Bs” and sex objects only, something to own and exploit as property! Denounce it when you hear it!

The quote many men have lived by was what Plato voiced: “'I thank God, that I was born Greek and not barbarian, freeman and not slave, a man and not woman”. Why? The usual case is that women have lived with zero rights, zero respect, and are still women are considered property in many countries!

Some people always want to complain of the discrimination of women in the U.S. but here it is minimal compared to other places! Abortion of girls in China is so extensive that in coming up in just 5 years 30 million young men will not be able to find a wife! What a manmade crisis! Many in several nations fear that the frustration of these men will lead to aggression and war, internal and external.

Have you ever heard that one should judge a society by how it treats its most vulnerable members? How are the unborn, the babies, the elderly, the children, and the impaired getting treated? And of great importance, how are the women treated? 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (God will not hear the prayers of those who mistreat women!) Identify and condemn those who are to blame for making women into just sex objects and slaves for labor exploitation. Our job is to love, esteemed, respect, and value women as intelligent industrious essential co-collaborators in the home and community!

3. The verses of focus begins in Titus 2:3 highlighting that God expects women as they mature to be strong influencers with their wholesome (holy) values, living a pure life. Women are exalted in the verses here inferring they are important and useful as teachers and mentors expected to share their acquired knowledge over the years about life and of the word of God with other younger women and to their children (and to the men as well).

Mothers always impact their children profoundly! Many single young men in jail or on the battle front when facing a breakdown or crisis have been known to cry out for consolation from mommy! We all recognize that the woman who incubated us and gave us life 9 after months, and raised us for 18 + years is important to our emotional and physical wellbeing!

Every mother must recognize that they are very important influencers and leaders in society creating either embittered monsters or sacrificial saints! Each person reaps what they sew and the boomerang of actions does come back haunt us. I knew one young Mexican man in prison and when I offered to bring his mother there to visit him as a favor he told me “No, I don’t want to see that whore”! Sad, right? She had a history of living with different men and he had suffered from the hand of many of them. We must teach this modern culture to get back to purity and holiness.

4. In history we observe that it has only been the word of God in the Bible practiced correctly that has brought women out of the darkness, of the depths of slavery and debasement, to being equal to the man in position in spiritual gifts and abilities. Jesus, by honoring his women followers, influenced many and eventually as the Bible got translated in many languages; it sparked a Renaissance and enlightenment of respect for women that we benefit from that in our democratic society today. It is a pity that the primitive church and still some churches today never matured in doctrine as the Salvation Army did to esteem women as equals ordaining them as ministers honoring them highly. Sadly still very few churches today ordain and respect women as equals, so you can be thankful that William and Catherine Booth got it right! Women have full rights here! Help us spread this good news!

Did you know when the Salvation Army was founded in 1865 that 60 to 70% of the initial members were young mothers and they were valiant preachers too! And today in this Corps, we expect the women and mothers to be leaders, not just to their children, but leaders in society being influential winning many over to the faith: souls saved for Jesus! Everyone listens when a wise woman speaks!

But I wish women today would start passionately speaking up more against social injustices! Help expose crimes such as rape, child-abuse, sexual trafficking, labor exploitation, domestic violence: women must demand that the people adhere to the standard of family values in the churches, schools, and city halls! If women are not defending the weak and family causes in their role, then they may fall for useless causes wasting time on popularized trends, and standing up for people who later become back stabbers to them. The causes that foment hatred towards men creating division and controversy in the community are against nature; truth is very few agree even though the media lies and says it’s the majority. The truth is the majority are sick of controversy from people demanding rights for things of selfish desires and not for rights of the truly defenseless abused innocent ones.   

5. Men and women have different roles in life. If a burglar is in the house at midnight, it is the man’s role to handle it, right? Or women, do you love a good fight and enjoy tackling 6’ masked men who have guns or knives? Raise your hand, women, if would say, “Honey, I’ll get it”! Sadly today in a few so called developed nations, some people due to the confusion of laws (non-Biblical) are supporting gender reversals. Such confusion sews the seeds of frustration, and proven statistically, it foments suicidal tendencies! Contrary to this is the defense of the equality of the sexes, and it is correct within the context of equal rights for women. They have gained substantial respect here in the U.S. in the workplace but concerning crimes committed against women, much more needs to be done, in particular abroad in Arab, Communist, and non-Christian nations or in about 5/7ths of the world!   

Again referring to how women are commended to be holy and sober, what happens when women are not holy but rather become loud and self-serving? The progression (as observed in Hollywood children) of the character slides downhill from disrespect on into total chaos! Each person is the principle player in the forging of their own reputation. Those seeking to take advantage of men usually ironically find men with the same nature (birds of a feather..) seeking to take advantage of them! Trying to take advantage of another pretending love (either sex) is nothing new, and everyone gets burned. Women have a disadvantage though because of their more sensitive emotions and smaller physical size.

In the 90s we had a nice Peruvian friend in her 50s that was depressed and sad due to a recent divorce. The judge awarded her the house of the ex and she sold it. In the meantime the new boyfriend, who was supposedly a rich man of a rich Spanish family said he would help her by storing her $100,000 cash in his personal safe. We soon found out she had never even been to his house! It soon came to light (after we encouraged her to go to the police) that he had played her and about 5 other women for their money and she felt horribly shamed! He went to jail, she lost it all, and she had to go on with life working minimum wage having nothing too embarrassed to even talk to her family!

6. Today many people complain about the disappearing family unit but who is to blame? Where is the fighter spirit of couples of, “we will get through this”? Do we blame the deadbeat dads? Or the deadbeat moms? Both sexes share blame in being irresponsible! Take note, young deadbeat fathers were boys who grew up under a mother (or father) that influenced their attitude about women. How the mother treated the child affirmed obedience and good behavior, or rebellion and disrespect. Kids imitate the parent’s example and values, or the lack thereof; values are caught and imitated and must be taught. Parents reap what they sew and get payback for their sins often multiplied through those closest to them.       

Sad as well, some girls and boys have grown up seeing abusive fathers degrade their mothers verbally or physically (or vice versa), and when a guy or gal imitates this horrible behavior, he (or she, as a victim to this) thinks that this is just normal life! They imitate this abuse even though they already know this behavior brings about hurt feelings, much suffering, and even divorce. No one should tolerate abuse ever because you are God’s child and of high value and esteem!

7. Here is where the breakdown begins begging the question, have the older ladies be faithful to teach the young girls at home, in the churches, and in the schools high standards and values? Are the women mentors teaching the girls to dress and act like princesses aspiring honors and achievements? My concern is this, lately women and mothers are letting girls dress too  risqué, even 12 year olds use high platform heels and short shorts, unaware of the dangerous provocations that put the girls at risk for rape and abuse? Some women dress so crazy here picking up their kids in school that the schools are now enforcing dress codes for parents!

By the time a girl is in college, an estimated 1 in 4 have been raped already! I have also known of many mothers that have prostituted their own daughters for money as well! Take into account that before the 60’s themes of “burn you bra” and be liberated message, only 2 main STDs existed, now there are dozens that are very serious causing cancer, HIV, and destroying the normal desire and pleasure that God intended to last a lifetime between married couples!

8. How sad today as well that in a majority of so called “developed” cultures women are choosing to not be mothers or married wives protected by the law. This lack of security or kids causes both men and women to miss out on many laughs and beautiful emotions, and a needed maturity. Romans 1 :27 “In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.” A few societies worldwide, due to misinformation and feminist influences are sadly not supporting women in their roles as mothers and wives. Remember, young pregnant girls need support from us and everyone! Pre 60s and the pill, The Salvation Army had many clinics nationwide for delivering babies! Everyone must always support families because we need one another to survive and to provide for what is needed!

So these verses of today (vs 4) go against the grain of what the world promotes and it is up to Christians to be very vocal to support women! (I love counter-culture challenges, don’t you?) In general both sexes without faith and obedience to God are horrible abusers of their own bodies and others wreaking havoc going against nature. I thank God again and again for the Christian values taught in the Bible that inherently invoke respect and exalt the women as of great value! And when ‘mama is happy, everyone is happy’! See Proverbs 31

The Bible has inspired women to become the liberated, dedicated, wise, good, and fun loving creatures God made them to be! We must spread this good news!

9. One disturbing part of verse 3 is, “not false accusers”, what does this mean? To invent a lie to muster sympathy and harm someone is punishable by law! In today’s language it could also imply not falsely exaggerating a contentious item being a “drama queen”, spouting out foolish words just for manipulation or revenge. All of these recent TV shows of marriage boot camps and counseling showing the women yelling and red in the face is not helpful in modeling better alternative communication methods to help us solve common relationship issues! Men and women always will accuse each other of their faults but the factor is both often forget to factor in their own irritating provocations usually started with sharp accusatory words. Everyone is always right in their own eyes, but to God we are all in great need of maturity and to be more in control of our words!

False accusations from the woman may be that of accusing the man of having another woman. If the accusation is a true one, then what is she doing with him? She needs to stop thinking that she is going to control him and fix a broken sin nature that does not want to be fixed. Only Jesus changes hearts!

The man a woman choses as a husband must first of all be a man that has proven himself worthy and faithful to God not living an addictive abusive or adulterous life. Never should a woman ever have the need to “falsely accuse” him of having a lover fishing for information to know if an affair is happening. How many men here have had to hear their wife accuse them of liking or cheating with another over and over? (Don’t raise your hands!) These and other types of accusations scar relationships, avoid them! Over time the man might erroneously conclude that he might as well have a lover, since he is going to suffer verbal abuse whether he has had one or not! Just don’t accuse and be guilty in words or in deeds!

10. One more interesting part, “not given to much wine”. Well, in our case, we are not given to any wine, but this implies that many young women have the tendency to be party girls right? It is human nature for the youth to want to have fun but if having fun includes alcohol and the starting motherhood due to being drunk one night, this is something to seriously think about and avoid!

Because the body mass of women is smaller than that of men, women get drunk easier than men. They also get addicted to drugs easier as well. This is a warning to women to not let their selves be exposed to any excess as it will create more consequences. Date rape happens often to young girls that are high or drunk and it has always been a problem for millennia not just a recent societal problem.

Alcohol is a serious problem in this country as an estimated 1 in 10 people are addicted! People who drink or get high are forcing their brains to imbalance and expend in a few hours the pleasure serotonin chemicals and later normal for them is a personality state that is bored, edgy, and violent. Be careful of what may happen to you: drug or alcohol abusers need serious help!

11.  Continuing on to the last part of today’s study, “obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”. What does it mean? Today, after the feminist movement from the 70s, many people think that the woman being obedient to the husband is heresy! After all, the woman has rights! This is true, but each couple needs to decipher each other’s strong and weak points to keep a balance and common sense. Most women follow the man’s lead anyway unless she perceives a danger or threat, or if he is being totally anti-god and cruel.

Here is an example of how a man may lead, if the woman gets very excited about getting a nice new car with a $680 a month payment with another $200 in insurance, and the man says, “Oh no, babe we can’t afford that, it would be almost half our income,” then the woman should understand and just trust the man’s judgment on the matter! This is the essence of the idea of being obedient. It does not imply absolute blind servitude as some Christian defamers want to imply! But a woman who demands her way may make the man blaspheme!

12. I love and respect my wife that has for 25 years has been a great fighter for justice defending me and her children and helped a few thousand others in need. She woke up all hours of the night, learned new languages to communicate with us (English, Portuguese, ASL, sign language) and tolerated moving from place to place doing God’s work. I love and admire her as only 1 out of a million would do this! How lucky (God’s plans) that I could meet her!

What did the scripture teach us? Respect the women! Both women and men should study and research what makes the other sex, or their own mates, be secure, stable, and happy. What kills any relationship is a self-centered insecure jealous controlling person who demands that their needs be supplied not considering the needs of the other one. Relationships are always give and take and that must be done in love! Men also have responsibilities but that’s for later!

13. If a woman or wife claims to be a Christian but she is harsh with her tongue, and punishes the man when she doesn’t get what she wants, with addictive or unfaithful behaviors, then the man might conclude that her faith, that her Christian God must be flawed and unjust! This works vice versa, men must also be must be loving examples gentle proving their dedication to their family or their religion will be criticized as useless and hypocritical!

It is the pure, powerful, and holy women, often mothers, throughout history that have been the ones to bring about a real change in society, starting in their homes with their own children and then out in the community! Remember also that countless women are renowned professionals! Let’s pray the Lord brings us more women to organize and defend the weak, minister to the suffering, and putting into practice God’s word! Let’s pray for the women here to have the strength they need to accomplish great things for their families, church, and friends. We must denounce, expose, and encourage correction for those fallen into weakness, but honor the noble, pure, and wise and holy women! If we do not support them, then more men, women, and children around the world will continue to will suffer more and more injustices! Women with Jesus and the Holy Spirit are powerful teachers, healers, and influencers: love and support them!