Comfort: Give It & Take It!

Comfort:  Give It & Take It!                                                   By Kelly Durant 8-10-14

Romans 1:11-12 For I long to see you, that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift, to the end ye may be established; 12 That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.

2. How many of you have ever heard the story about the person in the mental hospital that bangs their head on the wall and they do it off and on all day? The professionals and doctors decided to go in the cell and interview the crazy man, “Why do you bang your head on the wall?” The man looks at them dumbfounded and answered, “Don’t you know? Because it feels so good when I stop!”

Believe it or not, this pattern of seeking pain, then relief, is a reality for many people in this life who live without a connection to the Lord! People live on a treadmill of up and down because they have never known real love, healing, and comfort from God! I have known people who seem to thrive in life, not on encouragement and comfort, but thrive on discouragement! They seem to be energized running from one crisis to the next just to get attention!

Real life examples: I have dealt with a dozen or more people in my past who from week to week always have a life and death emergency crisis and they say, “Oh, pastor you must help me right now! I don’t have my rent money this week!” Then next week they’ll tell me someone robbed them, then the next week a car hit them, then after that they have to move and no one is there to help them, so I am expected to answer the call! My stomach use to turn when I would hear these words opening words on the phone, “Oh pastor, you don’t know what happened to me now!” That phrase meant I was going to be interrupted and busy doing something unplanned for. I am not complaining about serving others, this is what I am here for, but my concern is how do we fix this situation that certain people have so many problems non-stop and seem energized living in the crisis mode? They need an extra dosage of comfort!

3. All of us confront problems in life, but it is how one handles them that matters! Crisis situations are not the whole problem, how one reacts and handles them determines if matters will calm down or if they will get worse! The reaction of most Christians is to ask for prayer and help from a brother or sister, and this is the way it is supposed to be.  We are supposed to help one another. Galatians 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.  In other words don’t abuse, but serve, or be served, and with love.

The issue is many people without the Lord in their lives are weak and obsess over things. There are many TV shows on people’s addictions such as drugs or alcohol, or an addiction to hoarding things which is idolatry and materialism, or to eating, or politicians addicted to power, or to botox, or obsessed with music, or to anything actually can become an obsession! People become extreme and crazy to lust and want and get, and to get attention, and why? It is because God’s love and Jesus does not fill their empty hearts so they get crazy trying to get satisfied with something, or just anything! They crave one more bite, one more drink, one more relationship, one more person helping them as a victim and yet nothing soothes the soul!

It is like that old song by the Rolling Stones (a song deemed #1 of the century?!) ‘I Can’t Get No Satisfaction’. When I was about 10 years old I played that miserable song over and over non-stop for hours on a 45 record (making my other crazy!) and I thought to myself, you mean he is a rich and famous rock star and he is not happy? No satisfaction in life?! Well, it is true, people without God, whether rich or poor, are never content, they are always obsessing, stressing, and creating drama if no drama is coming to them! It is a lifestyle! And a stressful one at that!

4. So if we look at the scripture today, Paul in Romans 1 is expressing that no matter how dark this world is, no matter how many horrible sins are taking place around you (see the rest of the chapter), our comfort is in the encouragement and comfort we can give each other and get from God through the Holy Spirit!  Paul mentions “impart a spiritual gift” and what does that mean? Paul wants to empower every believer against the evil ones, problems, and hardships that attack each one of us as a Christian.  

The gifts of the spirit we have learned are in I Cor. 12:8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.

So basically, the Word of God encourages and comforts us, it tells us to seek the Spirit and no matter the problem we face, God will make a way for us to get by without us worrying, obsessing, or becoming crazy!  If we are ignorant on matters, God increases our knowledge, if we doubt the faith or need faith for our needs, God will supply it. When we are sick, God will often heal us and even do miracles! God’s Spirit can help us to discern between the true and false, and even help us to learn languages, or understand people speaking in the Spirit.  These are all Spirit gifts we share and they are all done within the context of us helping one another by praying and sharing them, practicing them within our community of brothers & sisters.

5. So why do we have such an abundance of craziness, obsessiveness, and drama in the world today? It is in great part because of the lack of (or rejection of) the knowledge of God (which Romans 1 makes clear), but also according to the verses today, we could conclude it is a lack of us comforting one another in hard times as we should be.  Paul says, “that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me”. Let’s look at comfort a bit deeper.

Paul is clearly saying here that is our faith in Jesus that brings us comfort and we must comfort one another, he wants to give comfort and he wants to receive it. How do you comfort another person? That depends, right? Comfort is a personal thing, you have to be with the person, you must communicate and share the faith together which implies praying, studying, and listening to what that person’s needs are. You may not have the answers to all their needs, but when you pray for them God will answer somehow, right? The biggest problem is many people do not know how to express what their needs are because their life is comprised of carnal things, and not spiritual things. The people ask for the carnal things, rent or bill money, but the greater need they have is spiritual. People do not see that it is their way of life and habits that are impoverishing them. The wounded person must first be healed; soup, soap, and then salvation!

6. God comforts us to be encouraged and consoled but not for us to get comfortable! In carnal people’s ways (Romans 1 describes quite a few!) there is the selfishness factor of some people that they start wanting all your time and attention, or too much comfort. To the contrary, I think none of us get tired of serving a Christian brother or sister because if they are true they will always appreciate it, and they serve you back when you need it! I personally have had to learn a balance to spend the more time with our leaders, planning and doing, instead of too much of my time with people who are always going to keep having one crisis after another!  If I help a person 5 times, then maybe it’s time that I choose a different person to help. But what can we do for the poor, old, single ones with no relatives in this country, and no welfare check?

The frustration is one is always trying to win someone to Christ and you serve them in their crisis, but then they may not even appreciate it! Often people want more and more and are abusive! I have had my kindness interpreted as stupidity a few times! Imagine a person almost homeless, you help them, and then they judge you as a dumb person to invest in them?! As I mentioned before, my commitment is to serve people with love and this implies doing things not very pleasant at times like going to represent them in the courts, helping pay late bills, visiting them in the hospitals, taking them to apply for jobs, and on and on. The factor is, neither you nor I can afford to get discouraged from dealing with the sufferings brought on by someone’s sin! Sin brings pain and when in pain it’s an emergency! Life is like a battlefield and as Christians we are the only soldiers still well enough to go out and rescue the fallen ones!

Remember the 10 lepers that Jesus healed, and only 1 came back to thank Him! The general mission of all of us in life is to preach the gospel and do good matter what and that includes showing God’s love by comforting, healing and  helping ! We cannot focus on ourselves and any reward in this life, we just must simply comfort each other however needed whenever needed! 2 Corinthians 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

7. All of this to get you to think about the following, do you know what the greatest human need is? It is to be loved! Everyone is hungry for love, each one of us wants comfort, we all want connectedness and a feeling of belonging! As Christians we have a lot of work to do to be able to have confidence amongst ourselves to build up trust and feel free to confess our weaknesses and needs to one another. Can we trust that the other person will listen, care, pray, and comfort us? We all need comfort in our pain and we should be able to get it!

The problem is the following, those immature in the faith are like little children, they are selfish, they have no consciousness of the needs of others, and they are not aware of their own carnality and abusiveness of what they expect from others. They want to get help and comfort, but they do not give any! They obsess only over their own self! With some you may help them 2 dozen times, but that one day you cannot help them then you suddenly become the bad guy! In the end, our help is for the needy, not the greedy! But we focus on the good ones, some people really do change, and this is our comfort to keep on ministering! The thankful make our day!

Love, which entails comfort should work like this: we as Christians are tapped into God’s system, like a water system that never runs dry and the Holy Spirit fills us and refills us again so we just keep pouring out on others. Those that are empty and receive God’s love get filled up, and if they allow God’s healing, then they become whole, and instead of remaining broken and leaking out the love given them, they retain it, appreciate it, and then after getting full, they too start overflowing on others as well. This is also a way of observing how holiness works, God’s Spirit of purity fills us up until there is no more emptiness and then we overflow on everyone!

8. Referring to whom to comfort, as a pastor I always try to focus in on the neediest persons in the group, the weakest and most vulnerable, the ones suffering most.  A church should be a place where people arrive for love, comfort, and mercy! The mature are here to guide the immature; the strong are here to help the weak without a judgmental attitude. As believers we have all things common and we share with each other so that no one is suffering from a dire need. (Acts 2:44,45) It is the job of all Christians to know how everyone is doing spiritually and materially, and everyone should serve to show love and this brings comfort knowing that all areas are covered in our fellowship!

Comfort is an expression of love and it is shown in many ways: it is a human need! Without natural affection babies have been known to die, so what about people?  Ask yourself right now, do I have the confidence to seek advice and comfort with a brother or sister near me? When is the last time you comforted another person who had a problem, something secret no one could know about?  Seriously, how do you serve others if you are not alleviating their distresses? It should be with acts of service and that is love in action! We need to establish closer relationships amongst ourselves so we have more love and confidence and God gives us our talents and the Holy Spirit to be used and shared.

All of us should do a better job of listening, understanding, and comforting others!  John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. John 13:35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.  This love implies that your whole life is wrapped around others!

9. Do you know of anyone suffering or of anyone who gets into crisis often? Do you know of anyone who obsesses over things because they don’t have the peace of God in their heart and they are trying to fill a void?  Someone with no satisfaction with anything?  There is a cure!

Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” And this next verse is a promise I have claimed often…

Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you”.  Also, with the Holy Spirit anyone can access the gift of having a comforter or obtain the power needed to get through a trial… John 14:16 “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever;”

10. Despite God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit comforting us we still need each other for comfort! We love God but equally as important, we must love our neighbor as ourselves! Comfort may be expressed with encouragement from sharing God’s word, through prayer, through serving or giving or providing in the time of need, through hugging someone who needs it, through loving care and concern, and even just by your presence by being there for them when they need you most! Do you allow yourself to be available? Break down your defensive walls, and connect with people on a human level!

Jesus warned us how it would be in the last days. Matthew 24:12 “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.” Ask yourself, am I an indifferent, a self-protecting stagnant water type of Christian? Or do I overflow the Spirit on to others? Do I obsess and worry too much and live in the crisis mode? Or am I one that pours out the love and comfort of the Holy Spirit freely onto others? The formula of God has always been that to receive you must give! People are dying for a lack of love and comfort, so do something!

Do you know of anyone who really does have a need to be comforted? If you do, then just act! Call them, visit them, spend time with them! Don’t worry about how much Bible you know to share; people are comforted just by knowing you care! You are a living Bible representing the Holy Spirit and Jesus to them! Break your old habits, learn to comfort or you will suffer and many others will continue to suffer as well!